War on Federal Workers

Federal workers will soon be required to clock out when taking a toilet break and then clock back in upon returning to their duty stations to comply with a recent presidential executive order aimed to curb employee indolence and ingratitude. For protracted trips to the throne attributable to digestive delays or the runs (giving a new meaning to “running out the clock”), the boss will have the option to dock the worker an hour’s pay for every documented extra flush to offset the cost of sewage treatment.

The above is a logical projection of where we’re headed. The President’s assault on Federal employees and their unions should upset all fair-minded Americans, yet judging from the scant news coverage and absence of debate, the impression it has registered on even its most directly affected victims is as deep as the indentation on a pillow left by the head of a hamster.